A case for family values...

http://www.newsweek.com/id/210252/page/1

In this article, the idea of paid family leave is discussed. It is of particular interest to me because I am 6 months pregnant and will start working again in September and our family is trying to figure out a way to maintain balance between work and family life. It seems funny and odd to me that conservatives really fight this idea of an extended paid family leave, especially since conservatives are also the ones to advocate for "family values" and such. It seems to me like their idea of "family values" means that everyone is a Christian, believes in Jesus, is pro-life, anti-homosexuality, etc. What about the family values of everyday Americans trying to make a living in this country? Conservatives who generally fight the concept of paid family leave look at having a family as a choice, a voluntary condition (except for when the woman wants to have an abortion), as opposed to a way of providing future citizens.

The writer makes a good case for paid family leave. Why would society not want to pay for a mother to care for her child during the first few months of life and then return to the workforce? Having a family is not something a women should be penalized for, and it seems detrimental to a society in general to not support the idea of a work/life balance. In the end, these are human beings we are talking about. Ones that will eventually be part of our working society. It only makes sense that we give families the tools to be the best workers AND the best parents because the latter is a job of such importance and has the ability to create citizens that can either be productive or counter-productive members of society as a whole.

None of this will effect me as nothing will change for a long time. I'm going to take my unpaid family leave to care for our newborn and we will have to adjust. It would be nice to not worry about how we will manage during this time, but such is the nature of American society.

Vacation almost over...

It's hard to believe our almost 3 week vaca to Las Vegas and New Jersey is almost over. We left L.A. for Las Vegas on the 2nd, flew to NJ on the 8th, and will be leaving tomorrow afternoon. F was busy in Vegas visiting my mom so she didn't come with us to NJ. I don't think either of us realized how much we would miss each other during the almost 2 weeks apart. She made me promise to bring her next time we go. I should mention that while in Vegas at the beginning of our trip, M and I managed to stay strong and not buy a timeshare. We did however get to stay 2 nights in a new 1 bedroom suite and receive $50 in Bass Pro gift cards for attending the presentation. I also took F to see the lions at MGM and we visited Lake Las Vegas for the first time. It was pretty, but like a ghost town because of the crashing real estate market.

Because I'm pregnant, it hasn't been quite the same as our usual visits to the east coast, although my east coast sleep pattern hasn't changed much. It's kinda ghetto to be hanging out in bars around smoke and stuff in my condition, so I opted to stay in. Normally, M and I go out until the early morning (drinking, smoking, late night eating), sleep from about 6am to noon/1ish, hang out in Jersey only to do the same thing all over again. This time I was actually able to do some things during the day time. M was still doing his thing at night and I have a hard time sleeping when I know M's out (the worrier in me) so I was still sleeping pretty late, too, but we managed to get out and about by early afternoon on most days.

We spent an afternoon on the upper west side and central park last Friday. I was able to go to the Shake Shack (which was sooooo yummy) and pay homage to Magnolia Bakery (which started the cupcake trend back in the 90's, although the cupcakes left much to be desired). M said that in all of the years that he's lived here, he's never really hung out in central park. It was beautiful and the perfect day to be there. Apparently, most of June was plagued with rain, so we were lucky to bring our dry weather, albeit on the humid side, with us.

I also attended my first annual bbq at the Capios' home in Westchester, NY. I don't know how long they've been doing this, but it was the first time I was in town to go. We got to see a lot of the family at one event, so it was nice.

I also visited Washington, DC for the first time. The guys (JV, JJ, and M) were troopers as they went to a Roots show the night before so they were going on a few hours of sleep when we left NJ at 8 in the morning. First stop, Ben's Chili Bowl, a DC staple for the past 50 years. The rest of the afternoon was spent at the Smithsonian(aerospace, American history, and art) museums, White House, Washington Monument, WWII Memorial, Reflection Pool, Lincoln Memorial (view from the top is beautiful), and Vietnam Memorial. On our way back, we stopped at a hidden crab restaurant in Annapolis, MD that coincidentally I had googled the night before and JV had eaten at in May. It was fun watching them hammering out whole crabs and eating with their hands. A nice ending to all of the activity. It was a really busy day, but I'm glad we did it.

I guess the rest of the time in NJ was spent hanging out with family and friends, eating lots of good food (Strawberry's Pizza, Oakwood, White Castle, grease trucks, A1 Deli, Mario's Italian in Union, Portuguese Manor in Perth Amboy, random restaurants with mom and dad Capio, etc), and resting. It's M's last vacation before he officially starts his career in dentistry so it was important that he have this time to rest and reconnect with old friends and spend time with the NJ people in his life. It also gave us a chance to spend some time together before the baby comes in November.

Although I still love it here on the east, and honestly would not mind moving here, this trip made me appreciate our life in California a little more. I've always been the type to want to move to NYC and kind of mock the CA lifestyle (all about the effin weather, nothing else!), I do like how really relaxed we are over there. I like the life M and I have started and will be starting and have a greater respect for how calm our lives really are. It probably comes with age, too, as now that we have a baby on the way, there's not much more that I need than a healthy family and the company of good friends and it helps that my friends on the west are all moving on to the next step in life also. Sunday brunch get-togethers take the place of late nights out, birthdays are celebrated at city parks instead of the newest hotspot. And having experienced humidity and random rain on an otherwise perfect day, I definitely plan on enjoying my almost perfect temperatures year round by the Pacific Ocean than I have in the past. There's much to be appreciated about both coasts, but for now the west coast is where we call home.

Good-bye to an Icon, the King of Pop

Today was one of those days that people will always remember. I was driving when I heard on the radio from Shotgun Tom on K-Earth 101 that Michael Jackson died at the age of 50 Thursday, June 25th, 2009. The rest of my afternoon was spent listening to continuous play of MJ's hits on all of the L.A. radio stations and, for the first time, there was no need to search for good songs as all of his trigger some memory or nostalgia and positive feeling. It was amazing to hear the incredible range and depth that he brought to us in the form of pop music.

It is hard for me to believe that he just died suddenly, but it seems so fitting. People of iconic nature are always seemingly taken unexpectedly and MJ is no different. He was someone who transcended genre, race, nationality, even age/generation. I don't know anyone alive today who was not a fan at some point in their life, if not throughout, and he had that effect on people all over the world. Despite the wacky headlines, one cannot detract from what he brought to us. Music and style that will always be unique to him, as well as a spirit of philanthropy and compassion for people of need. He was a pioneer in all he set out to do and for that he will be greatly missed, appreciated, but never forgotten. His legacy lives on...Rest in Peace Michael Jackson. You have added so much to our lives over the decades and for that I thank you.

Baby Capio is a...

On Thursday June 11th, M and I had our "big" ultrasound appointment with the perinatologist. We had already seen the baby via 2 previous ultrasounds (weeks 8 and 12), but our doctor wouldn't take a stab at guessing the sex. It seemed apparent that she was not very good at it, so she told us we'd have to wait until our diagnostic one during the 5th month. Keep in mind that this whole time everyone and their mother was guessing that this one was a boy, so naturally I was calling it "he." M, as many men do, wants a son and, to be honest, so do I, but of course we realize that the most important thing is that we have a healthy baby.

So after weeks of anticipation, we were finally at the fancy specialist's office and the doctor's looking around inside my belly. Everything looked perfect. At last we got to the part where he was going to confirm everyone's guess that it was a boy...WRONG! He told us we were having a girl and the room kinda got uncomfortably quiet. He went on to say that this was only an educated guess, but that if he was wrong, he'd cover babysitting for a whole year (which means he was as sure as he could possibly be). He concluded the ultrasound and left me to get my tummy cleaned up. The look on M's face was priceless...he looked like he was going to cry and I realized that it was because the doctor didn't say it was going to be a boy. I have to admit, I was pretty shocked, too, but more because we weren't expecting the girl news. My pregnancy was so different than with F and I just assumed that it was a boy.

Afterward, we went into the doctor's office and he asked if we had any questions. He reiterated that everything looked great, the baby was right on target and the due date of Nov. 10th was pretty accurate. He also gave us some pictures of the baby (one of which was 4D!) and a DVD of the whole ultrasound. I was embarrassed by how speechless we were in his office, but I'm sure we weren't the first couple to be surprised after learning one way or the other.

Anyway, it's been almost 2 weeks and the idea of another girl has grown on us and we're really excited. F was the most excited when she found out as she secretly was hoping for a girl and we all know she is going to be the best big sis. M is a sucker for baby girls so his initial shock reaction probably had more to do with not being able to name his first born after his dad, who he adores, than being disappointed about a little girl. How can anyone be disappointed with that? We know we are extremely blessed and we are looking forward to meeting our little scorpio girl in the fall. We're almost completely decided on a name, but that news will have to wait until she's born...

Mike's Graduation

Wow! What a day! Four years of hard work and sacrifice have finally come to end today. M graduated from UCLA School of Dentistry and is now officially a DDS, or Dr. Capio to most people. Words cannot express the feeling of happiness and pride I feel for him. You see, our whole relationship has been spent with him as a dental student and it seemed like this day would never come. But it did, and it could not have been more perfect (well, minus the dean's excruciatingly uncharismatic speeches). The ceremony was in the beautiful Royce Hall on the UCLA campus and there were about 100 dental students and 50 or so post-doctoral candidates receiving their degrees. The real stars were the DDS candidates as this marks the day that they change from being simply a" Mr." or "Ms." to a "Dr." and it really was something special. M looked so handsome in his serious black cap and gown and even more serious when they put the lavender (the color of dentistry) robes around them. Congratulations to the Class of 2009 as they are truly amazing and will all likely be very successful people in whatever fields they end up going into!

Afterward, we had a lunch at Marmalade Cafe in El Segundo. Friends and family drove from as far as S.D. and M's parents, in from NJ for the week, hosted a wonderful meal. I had to do the toast and, of course, I didn't get a chance to say everything I wanted to say. If I could do it over, I would mention that M and I really look at dental school as something that brought us together. In fact, he started dental school on the east coast a few weeks into our relationship when UCLA called to let him know they had a spot for him. It brought him back to CA, and consequently to me, and here we are today married with a new baby on the way. I would also mention that M had said to me this morning that I was getting this degree with him. But I disagree. He was the one that studied hours on end, passed all of his classes, all the while finding time to nurture a new relationship and be there for F and I. And lastly, I would mention that I know for certain that he will not just be a good dentist, but he'll be a great one. One of his professors mentioned that M has the right combination of technical expertise and interpersonal skill that makes him better than most. I also know that he possesses an enthusiasm and love for dentistry that is very unique. He truly respects the craft and the artistry, possesses incredible integrity and has the characteristics of a lifelong learner that will allow him to enjoy tremendous success in private practice. This is not someone who went into the profession for the financial rewards, but he will reap these rewards because of his commitment to excellence and love of the work. Needless to say, I am proud of him and want everyone to know it! The future is bright for this new doctor of dental surgery!!

First time blogging

This blog was created not really to feed the narcissistic tendencies of the writer, but more as an online diary that will allow us as a new family to remember the mundane, but sometimes exciting, details of our lives. It's always nice to read an old letter or flip through a yearbook and be sort of transported back to a specific time in one's life that has since been long forgotten. Not everything in these blogs is going to interesting to anyone else but us, but it will serve as a letter to ourselves that will capture snippets and moments that are important to us and which the details of won't necessarily be stored in our memories.

Our new family is going through some exciting times right now. These are the things we'd like to share with people and keep record of as we continue our journey together.